How many times have you said to yourself or someone that you care about "for Pete’s sake stop talking about it and just do it?" Or how many times have you beat yourself up because you have been planning to do something for days, weeks, or even months or years and you just never quite get to it. There is always a perfectly good excuse to put off the things you tell yourself that you will get to someday. You know, that book you want to write. Those dance lessons you want to take. The college degree you intend to finish. The weight you want to lose. The trip you want to take. The person you would like to ask out on a date. The things you would like to say to your spouse. The umbilical cord you would like to cut with your children. The new job you'd like to look for. The present job you would like to quit. The honest talk you would like to have with someone you care about. The things you would like to say to someone who has hurt you. The move you would like make to another neighborhood, city, or state. The will you keep telling yourself you will write soon.

What is stopping you? What is it that keeps us from saying the things we want to say and doing the things we want to do? Thinking about a thing is not the same as doing it, although sometimes we can trick our minds into thinking that we are doing something by telling ourselves tomorrow, next year, next time -- and relaxing into the certainty that you will be doing something soon.

What stops you from taking some action?

You can take control of your life and be all that you want to be. Much depends on your attitude, your habits, and your desire. Do you look at life as a problem or as an adventure? Do you have habits that sabotage your best efforts? Do you see yourself as a victim or do you see yourself as a survivor? Do you automatically harbor negative thoughts and pessimistically see your troubles as burdens?  Or do you optimistically see your problems as challenges to be conquered? Are you faithful? Are your accomplishments all that you are capable of? Do you dwell on past failures? Do you have dreams for your future? Are you numbing your self with alcohol or drugs including anti-depressants, sleeping medications or some other compulsion?

Take a really good look at yourself. Do you really want to know what is holding you back from doing the things you want to do with your life? Do a bold and courageous inventory of your life, your assets and your shortcomings.


Evelyn Leite, MHR, LPC, is a counselor and trainer with over 25 years of experience helping clients take charge of their lives and overcome grief, trauma, loss, vicitimization, abuse, chemical dependency and more. She has also authored a number of other books and articles on dealing with addiction, abuse, grief and codependency.